To good not to share
Received this from a friend this morning…
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats..
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge….mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside..
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is …. .. . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a driver’s license.
At age 35 success is . . .. having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Top Ten Reasons to Avoid Talking on the Phone
This is very funny but is rated PG-13 (so if you aren’t over 13 or are easily offended by body part references please do not read).
It is from The Oatmeal if you want to visit the original link.

Secluded Retreat in the Woods
Private mountain retreat on beautiful wooded 3 acres. The area around the house is cleared for maximum sun exposure. The home has large picture windows to allow in natural light. There are many cabinets and closets for extra storage space. The downstairs has a family room with wetbar, a ¾ bathroom and bedroom. The upstairs includes a kitchen with lots of cabinets and counter space that opens to the dining area and living room;a full bathroom with lots of light and 2 bedrooms. There is a large shop and circular driveway. Explore nature on you property with streams, woods and wildlife. The home is located just minutes from Mt Baker Hwy, amazing hiking, skiing, and about 30 minutes from Bellingham.
If you are interested in seeing this home please contact:
Tom Gurney, Realtor
360-303-6677
tomgurney@yahoo.com
Interesting story in the Bellngham Herald
Here is to a fabulous year for 2010 and beyond…small business is what makes Bellingham tic so it would be great if the small business could continue to see success…
Cautious optimism from Whatcom County business owners heading into new year
DAVE GALLAGHER – THE BELLINGHAM HERALD
With about two years of increased company closures locally, the business climate is looking tough for 2010, but there is some cautious optimism seen by local counseling experts.According to records kept by The Bellingham Herald, 89 brick-and-mortar businesses closed by the end of December, up from 83 in 2008 and 35 in 2007.There were significantly fewer restaurant closures in 2009 compared to the previous year, but a significant increase in the number of other retailers, particularly ones that have been around more than five years. Tom Dorr, director at the Center for Economic Vitality, said that trend fits what he’s been seeing in the economy.PHILIP A. DWYER | THE BELLINGHAM HERALD – The Markets grocery store manager Jim Vanrijswijck welcomes customer Sheila Seelye of Custer after opening the store for the first day of business Wednesday morning, May 13, 2009, in Birch Bay Square, one of several new businesses in Whatcom County.” 
“The keys are getting costs under control and finding ways to save money in this economy, and some are now able to do that,” Dorr said.
It’s also encouraging that the number of business openings outpaced the number of closures in 2009. There were 105 openings, according to records kept by The Bellingham Herald. However, there was a net loss of jobs because many of those new businesses started with fewer than five employees, while many of the companies that closed had a bigger workforce.
With so many job losses in 2009, there normally would be a larger uptick in business openings as people decide to become their own boss, Dorr said. However, this is a different kind of recession, where laid-off workers are risk adverse, much like banks, which have tightened lending for business start-ups.
“This is a different business paradigm than what we’ve seen in previous recessions,” Dorr said. “That good from my standpoint: I’m not seeing clients who are tapping into their 401k to start a business.”
There’s an expectation by Dorr and others that Whatcom County will see a significant number of closures in the first and second quarters of 2010. Retailers generally make a decision whether to stay open after tallying the holiday sales numbers.
The second half of 2010 possibly could see fewer business closures, but it will depend on what happens with lending, said Dave Woods, a counselor for SCORE and a mentor at Whatcom Community College and Western Washington University.
“I see people who might have a good business idea, but they better have at least 20 percent down if they want to get a business loan,” Woods said. “I’ve seen the government come out with some programs, but they aren’t tailored toward people starting a business. It’s a very confusing period right now for someone trying to get financing.”
Confidence also will be a factor in 2010, Woods said. Many businesses have been able to survive by trimming costs and taking other measures to stay open. However, if it doesn’t appear the economy is turning around, he would expect more business owners to give up trying to ride out this recession.
“The survivors are more optimistic than a year ago, but they will need to see some signs that things are getting better,” Woods said.
In the meantime, Dorr said the focus of many businesses will continue to be to cut costs, including taking advantage of a state program that lets businesses share workers.
“More are hopeful, and it may lead to increased hiring if businesses are able to get access to credit,” Dorr said.
OPEN AND SHUT
Some of the significant Whatcom County business openings and closures of 2009:
Openings: The Market at Birch Bay, The Community Food Co-op (Cordata), Ferndale Ace Hardware, United Furniture, Scotty Browns, Tully’s and Sherwin Williams (Meridian).
Closings: Johnson Outdoors, Joe’s Sporting Goods, Circuit City, Boater’s World, BB Lumber, United Auto Electric, Car Quest, Goff’s Department Store, Eleni’s Greek Restaurant, Brown’s Beauty Supply on Meridian Street, Current Industries and Nancy Whyte School of Ballet.
Reach DAVE GALLAGHER at dave.gallagher@bellinghamherald.com or call 715-2269.
20 Reasons Why You Should Call Me Today For Massage Therapy
20 Reasons Why You Should Call Me Today For Massage Therapy
- I care about my customers. I care about how each person who comes to see me feels, and what I can do to help each person feel their best. I work with you to develop a plan to help you meet your objectives, whether it is healing of injuries, increasing flexibility and range of motion, loosening muscle tension patterns from overuse or stress, reduction of pain, improving muscle function, or simply relaxing.
- Each session is custom designed for you, and with you. I am a firm believer that it is YOUR time on the massage table. I encourage your input, as we discuss how you would like your massage session to be spent. You and I will discuss if you have any special concerns, or areas that require additional time and focus.
- Do you have areas that are injured or I should be more careful with? No problem. No special requests? That’s fine too. I’m glad to provide a plan.
- I truly enjoy what I do. I find it very rewarding to see each person who has come to see me for massage therapy, feeling much better at the conclusion of their appointment, than when they first arrived.
- My rates for massage are very affordable – just $65 per session! Your session time does not begin until you are on the table and averages about 90 minutes. My policy is “Nobody gets shorted on my table.” You will receive your full massage time every time
- I am conveniently located downtown on the corner of Holly and Cornwall in the Mt Baker Professional Building, 1229 Cornwall Ave. Suite 214 Bellingham, WA 98225.
- I’m a great communicator. I listen to what YOUR needs are. I am available anytime by 360-303-6677, tomgurney@yahoo.com or http://www.facebook.com. You can speak to me directly before your appointment – not a receptionist. I am happy to discuss any questions you may have, and help determine if massage therapy and my practice are right for you. I am open 7 days per week, 8am to 7pm. Other times may be available – call for details. I take several forms of payment, including cash, checks, gift cards or trades.
- I am portable. I have a massage chair and can be available for parties, events, offices. I also travel to local rehabilitation centers and can give on location massages.
- I am continually working at keeping myself physically and mentally fit. I have not only the skill and knowledge, but also the physical strength and endurance to provide great massage therapy sessions. If you want to know how you can get physically fit let me know. I am also a Personal Fitness Trainer and a Physical Therapy Assistant.
- I’m fully licensed and legal, in compliance with all laws and standards of the State of Washington and have over 6 years of massage therapy experience and skills. I’m also fully insured and a professional member of the AMTA, American Massage Therapists Association. http://www.amtamassage.org/. I’m nationally certified as well, through the NCBTMB, National Certification Board of Therapeutic Massage and Bodyworkers.
- I’ve received an outstanding education from Whatcom Community College – graduating at the top of my class with a 4.0 GPA. I have taken additional training, to continue to add to my skills, increase my knowledge/skills and comply with massage licensing renewal requirements.
- I don’t overbook. Why is that important? Do you want to be the eighth, (or ninth, or tenth?) appointment in your therapist’s day? Neither do I, so I won’t do that to you. I take care of myself, and schedule a limited number of appointments each day so that your massage is high quality, no matter which appointment time you choose.
- I don’t pressure you to make your next appointment at the conclusion of your session. Of course you are welcome to, if you like. I believe that you and your body know when you’re ready for your next appointment, not me and my appointment book. Length of time between appointments varies for everybody, and even for the same body, depending on stress, healing, activities, and many other factors. You are welcome to either book another session, or call me whenever you feel you’re ready to come in again – it’s always up to you!
- I use a blend of shea butter and fractionated cocoanut oil in my massage sessions. It has several benefits. It is light, doesn’t leave your skin feeling goopy, does not go rancid, does not trigger allergic reactions, and washes cleanly out of sheets and clothing. It provides a glide on the surface of the skin, perfect for massage. Ask to introduce my special oils and creams for other benefits. Or if do you have a favorite medium? Bring it in and I will be happy to use it on you for your massage.
- I do pregnancy massage. Great for helping the mom-to-be “just get through it”, as her body goes through major adaptations prior to childbirth. Comfortably positioned with pillows in a side-lying position, this massage gently soothes away aches and pains as the body adjusts to baby.
- I always use professional draping techniques throughout each massage session. Your privacy is always respected.
- I am sensitive to your needs throughout your massage. I will be responsive to your preferences, such as: if you like the room lighter or darker, the table warmer or cooler, lighter or firmer pressure, or a change of music. Do you have a favorite relaxing CD, something you like to relax or meditate to? Bring it in! I’ll be happy to play it during your session.
- I enjoy meeting people – especially one on one. I love talking with people and sharing experiences. I try to follow your lead when it comes to conversation levels, as everybody relaxes differently. If you like it quiet, I am glad to oblige. If you enjoy conversation – I do too! I find conversation fun and energizing, which translates into great energy for a great massage.
- I have gift certificates! What a wonderful gift for anyone in your life! Massage is often a gift that your special someone might not get for themselves. A thoughtful gift for any occasion – give the gift of health!
- You will be supporting a local small business. I love the concept of small business, and the opportunity it gives me to offer the best service at a great price. Being in complete charge of a sole proprietorship business allows me to go above and beyond and offer excellent customer service. I am a hard-working person, fully invested in providing a great legitimate, licensed, and respectable therapeutic massage service to the Bellingham/Whatcom County community
Funny for Friday
Subject: In The Beginning
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s and Krispy Kreme.
And Satan said: “You want hot fudge with that?”
And Man said: “Yes!”
And Woman said: “I’ll have one too with sprinkles.”
And lo they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.
And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.
So God said: “Try my fresh green garden salad.”
And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said: “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.”
And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped
lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak–so big it needed its own
platter.
And Man’s cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.
And Man put on more pounds.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald’s and the 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then Satan said: “You want fries with that?”
And Man replied: “Yes! And super size ‘em!”
And Satan said: “It is good.”
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed…and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then…Satan chuckled and created HMOs.






























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